TOXIC NICENESS.........

OK.....Buckle down people....this one is going to be a little long....sorry for that but I had a lot to say and a lot to address.

Niceness is becoming toxic to my health & well being these days.  I actually read a little in regards to this on a daily basis.  I think today I have come to realize that this has become a huge issue for me.  I was taught to always try and be a GOOD person, try and do the RIGHT thing, do my best to always take the HIGHER ROAD, try and be the BIGGER PERSON.........Well guess what.....I have tried this and it seems to me it is just not all that it is cracked up to be.  I have a few friends that repeatedly tell me not to worry about other people but yet over and over again I do worry about other people.  I worry about how they feel, what they think, what is going on with them.  It does not seem to work the other way around though.  I have learned over the past 10 years that some people just flat out SUCK.  They are rude, disrespectful and socially unacceptable! (my mom will enjoy that last one)  There are some people that you can really go out of your way for.  You buy a closet full of crap you don't need, don't want and will likely never use in order to support their new side career.  Of course when given the opportunity they do absolutely 100% nothing to support your side career.  You put together a casserole, deliver it and as a thank you they return to you a carrier that was once nice that they ruined oh and then a few days later they let a "thank you" slide out.  My friend Christie actually mentioned yesterday how the majority of people these days lack the ability to be appreciative of anything.  Not even a simple, GENUINE, "Thank you".  It is like we live in this world of people that just feel they are "entitled".  Really, I am just curious, what on earth makes you so flipping special?  Some people tell me that certain people have some sort of "jealousy issues" or "have gotten too big for the britches".  Really?  Get over it.  I mean we all have something in our lives or going for us that someone else wants just as much as there is always someone out there that has something we want or that we long for.  One person just can't have everything so why behave like you are in 5th grade?  You can't even be mature enough to look someone in the eye when spoken to?  I think once you hit 30+ there is just no excuse whatsoever for that behavior.  Everyone is IMPERFECT ( I think one person's church around here actually tries to teach that), Everyone HAS something and Everyone WANTS something.  It is part of life.  In recent years I have come across so many just truly ungrateful people and I swear sometimes I just want to jerk them up and shake the crap out of them.  Instead......I put a smile on and I try and be the bigger person.  I will continue in my life to be this way BUT I will begin today making exceptions to that rule!

See I do suffer from some true Libra traits.  Some good, some not so good just like everyone else in the world.  I like things to be equal (yes I am aware they are not and I have to suck it up)  I like people to be treated fairly.  (yes, again I know)  I think all of that plays a part in how often I get my heart hurt by others around me.  I do take things personally.  I had someone tell me one day that I was a good person AND I had a good heart.  So many people actually confuse those things.  They are not the same at all.  They gave me an example:  A good person sees a homeless person in the snow and just thinks, gosh, that is so awful, I just hate to see that and they Genuinely mean that.  A person with a good heart will actually take action on that.  I guess referring to my habit that started when I was about 10 with feeding them and such.  I will never forget it, that first time.  We were at Brendles on Tunnel Road in Asheville, NC and I had bugged my mother for a toy all day!  I was driving her crazy so finally she gave my sister the keys to the car and gave me some money and asked her to take me across the road to K-Mart and get me a toy!!  (ha ha I could be pretty persistent)  While sitting at the red light there was a very frail looking man standing on the corner in the snow with a sign that simply said "WILL WORK".  So I talked to my sister and we rolled the window down and told him to go up the parking lot to the Burger King where we preceded to go through the drive thru and spend all of my toy money on hot food, orange juice and coffee.  The man sat down behind the drive thru menu to block the wind and snow as best as possible and I will just never forget the look on his face, the look in his eyes.  No maybe this did not forever change this man but it did change me and it did help him.  My sister and I sort of made a routine of this.  We do not give them money but we buy them food, something warm to drink.  I remember a few years back leaving the Copper Cellar on Cumberland in Knoxville  on Christmas Eve and this man was asking for food, gosh by some people reactions you would have thought he was trying to hold people at gun point.  I just simply handed him my to go box with my leftovers and the man could not have been more happy and appreciative.  Someone in the car actually said "Well, I just never thought about that, I never thought that was all he wanted but I could have done that" as they sat there with their to go box in hand.  I mean some people genuinely need help and some don't and you cannot always tell but does that to go box of leftovers that will likely sit in your fridge until trash day really mean that much?  It really just takes simple gestures that people just don't stop to think about.  It was a gesture that didn't cost me and didn't cause me to have to go out of my way, just to be nice and considerate of someone other than myself.  

I have been fund raising for Relay For Life.  I actually had someone ask me the other day "Why does it matter to you?".  Seriously?  Did someone really just ask such a thing?  Ok, no problem, I got this. I can even explain it to you based on Relay and based on my above paragraph.

1. First, WHY NOT????
2. Why on earth do we feel so entitled that we feel like everyone should go out of their way to help us, do for us, support us when we are not willing to do the same. I mean have we all forgotten what is Known as the Golden Rule, many Christians will know this as a Christian saying: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".  If you are not willing to help others, why should they help you?
3. Cancer - It can happen to ANYONE at ANYTIME at ANY AGE to ANY RACE to ANY SEX to ANY RELIGION - YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE!
4. Homelessness - In this economy, in this day and age it CAN happen to ANYONE at ANYTIME at ANY AGE to ANY RACE to ANY SEX to ANY RELIGION - YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE!
5. If someone I love, care about, anyone in my life has to face either 4 or 5 or anything else for that matter I absolutely would want anyone and everyone to do anything and everything within their control to help!  Wouldn't you???

I could easily go on and on but I think that sort of sums that up.  

Personally my budget is very tight right now and I don't quite think that even describes it.  I am pushed to the very limit.  With that being said, since Jan 2010 I personally have given:

• $20.00 to March of Dimes
• $50.00 to Relay for Life (I normally always support at least 1 other team member when doing this stuff)
• $100.00 to ALPS (our local Alzheimer's Association - hello people we all get old, we all reach a point where we need help)
• $25.00 to Juvenile Diabetes

I really do live paycheck to paycheck right now so I understand 100% tight budgets and fearing every week that my life could change and I might not get a paycheck that next week.  I see everyday on facebook all of these people that have already (it is only June 4th) taken multiple vacations this year, some to the beach, some to Greece, some to more amazing locations than that.  They can't simply say THANK YOU and mean it.  They can't take a few minutes out to do something nice for someone or to just call or email and say How are YOU today?  It is all about them.  They are buying new cars, eating out every day, buying their $8 fancy coffee drinks and they seriously have an issue with putting $10.00 towards a good cause.  Towards a cause that may one day, at even given moment be them.  You could end up out of work, falling on hard times, falling ill to cancer, heart disease any one of a billion different life changing some life ending diseases.  

Can you HONESTLY, sit there, look me in the eyes and say You would NOT want anyone to help you for be there for you??  If you are going to dare try and say yes to that question you should first tell everyone within 200 yards to step away from you because the lightening is coming!!

On another note.....TGIF!  It is Friday, finally!  I hope that everyone has a good weekend with the people in their lives.  

"You cannot dream yourself into a character; 

you must hammer and forge yourself one."

 
~ Henry David Thoreau

One of my FAVS!